What exactly did happen.Something is definitely missing but showing my blog to her changed the things forever(atleast temporarily).May be I should had thought about this once before showing my feelings for her.I definitely feel like hell but what can I do.
She is doing what she can do.
U do what U can do(can do nothing but loving her as usual).

I really don't know what is happening

Really,I am worried about something.She says that it cannot happen.How it would be when someone who U loved the most don't want U.I thought I am a positive person.But I don't know what had happened to me.Sometimes I feel what am I doing,for what am I doing ??
I love a girl so much and that girl don't want me.One life,one love.
I dedicated my life to her and I don't even know if there would be someone like me who can do that.
I don't feel like giving up.But I feel so much pressure.
Always I feel something is missing,but I can never figure out what is missing.Hard thing is I am not even able to think.
What is the thing that is lacking ?
I am not the way I was.
Nothing effects my mind.Nothing can even make a small difference to my mind.
But a small thing from her will effect it too much.
Only coz,I am mad about her.
Even before I couldn't realize,its like she is my life.
She wants me to get out of her life,when I feel she is my life.
What is my life without her.
I wish I could explain it to her.Or,she understands how much I love her and what she means to me.
I love U to the core.
I don't know if U can trust me or not,but I trust U blindly.
I wish a day comes when U love me like I love U.I don't know if it happens or not,but it is the only hope that drives me in my life.
U are my everything.U are the idea behind all my actions.U are the cause behind all my consequences.
U are the Princess of my Dreams.
Love You Forever ...........

Just look at yourself

I don't even understand what the fuck am I doing daily.
Thanks to google.I can use all my vulgar words in a package atleast I can type it for myself.
What the fuck am I fucking.
But it is not important.
Yes,wat should U do.
Omg,wat is happening.Things keep on changing for every second and not in control how they are changing.
I din even observe a pattern about them.
Ya,this philosophy shit is soo nice.
Come on AP,U can continue with it.
Its interesting.....

Illusions and dreamz

Finally I 'proposed' her.I know what made me do so.It was not much like proposal.It was like I knew what is happening,I presumed what would happen and so I thought to move on.But,things are not the same.Not the same means,not exactly what I had imagined.She was shocked in the first place.But,she was so cool and patient.I know she has a problem.I can guess what it is.May be she don't want to hurt her parents by doing this silly thing.I don't have any plan to hurt anyone.If we are clear,we could make it easy and perfect.The next day,it was fine.The night she messaged me.It was casual and discussion went on.But,after long conversations and wishing good night 4 times,I thought she was asleep n I don't know what had happened.I was just sleeping.But,the following morning I could see her message.It was also casual.I replied that I was sleeping when that message arrived n I thought she had already slept.But she didn't reply.May be she was busy or not.But,until now,I din get any reply from her.In the first place why do I expect.And hard part-I am not able to sleep now.All dreams about her.They seemed almost real.Illusions happened to take place of reality.It was the 2nd time the feeling happened after some days.
I don't know if there is a solution to the problem or it is gonna remain like the unsolved mysteries of my life.
I regretted daily for not happened to do all these things while we were in same class.Or,even there may be a solution,but a hard one.Sometimes,we need to choose what is best,even if it is hard to choose.
P.S.-I think I love her

'Farewell' my love

This time,I don't want to write this.I don't feel any better.But I have to do something.Tried Fbing,its shit.
Nothing can work now.
The girl. What the fuck is happening in my life. She has been with me in my class since 4 yrs and I din do anything or thought much about her. Did the 'farewell' thing make this up ??
God knows the answer as he is playing this. I mean,when everything is perfect including the girl,its the time like I have to leave her for nothing.
Just think once again. Is it better to do or not.
Ok,dont think. What the fuck is happening. U just don't have to feel much buddy.
There is a chance. When the only option is to give it up,then think of these situations.
U like this girl n U don't have to leave it like that. U play it from Ur side.
Nothing is gonna bother.
Just think. There is nothing to get worried too much.
Just trust Urself n rest would follow.
Final thing-something is wrong coz U had done some wrong. U did that wrong thing in the wrong context. Don't try to relate independent events.
Now,U can do this. No one are gonna stop U.
Yes AP,U have choice !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!